Pest Control / Reed and Phil 


Salem hates tuna. This much had been a revelation to a man who had never even owned a cat, but apparently cats that hate tuna exist. No wonder baiting him with tuna bits and bribing him with extra in his food dish hadn’t done anything. The first time Phil thought to switch his bribing medium? The damn thing had come trotting right up like he hadn’t spent a week sulking on top of the entertainment center.

And then, as his life would have it, something fell from the ceiling just as Salem leapt up to pluck the turkey from between his fingers.

His sidearm was in his hand the moment the ceiling began to crack, his entire frame spread longways across the couch from when he threw himself out to grab the Beretta from his end table. Salem was perched on the arm of the couch again after he seemed to deem the situation beneath him, seemingly unperturbed by a massive section of infrastructure falling through the ceiling for no apparent re-

And then Reed crawled out. The moment he registered the face he lowered his gun, a mortified little huff leaving him before he dropped both arms and let his head fall back against the back of the sofa. “Do I wanna know?” he asked, more of a groan than anything as he stared at the hole in his living room ceiling. Well… at least I don’t have to worry about the sky falling now. “I wanna know why you were crawling through the ceiling with a cat, but…” He huffed again, and this one was an obvious laugh. “I don’t think I wanna know.”

Reed released Quark, setting her down near Salem on the assumption that even if Salem wasn’t somehow the cause for their impromptu trip through the vents, the older cat’s presence would still set Quark at ease. He glanced over his shoulder at Phil, who was lying parallel to him, with his feet opposite Reed’s head and gun slowly lowering. Well. This was an awkward situation, though Phil’s slight laugh prompted Reed to give him a small, if embarrassed, smile.

He slid the rest of the way out of the mess he’d made, body immediately conforming to a form that resembled human more than it did snake. “I don’t know if you want to know,” he confessed. He wasn’t a telepath, so that wasn’t a question he could answer. But he did rather feel that he owed Phil some form of explanation, and blaming all of this on an innocent, unintentionally-havoc-inducing cat seemed too irresponsible for him. “Have you ever found yourself pursuing a goal with such singular interest that you neglect all else?” Such as common sense, or half a thought given to the structural integrity of Stark’s ceilings. He peered at the hole above them, already calculating the damage and how best to fix it.

Posted 3 days ago
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Pest Control / Reed and Phil 

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how Quark got into the air vents, or why. Cats are mysterious creatures and Reed has long since resigned himself to never fully understanding them, although careful research and observation has helped. Upon discovering that his cat had tripped the security alarms in the vents criss-crossing one of the residential floors, Reed disabled the alarms in that area and then crawled in after her.

He’s trying his best to maneuver through the cramped vents silently, to avoid disturbing anyone directly below or above them. Quark has finally stopped wandering and allowed him to catch up to her. She rubs against his face affectionately, providing no clue as to her motivation in this little venture of hers. Reed takes a few moments to pat her head in silent assurance that he isn’t upset with her while he looks around to see what lured her in. He finds nothing, but manages to delay just long enough that his weight proves to be too much for the supporting structure to handle.

The ground creaks alarmingly beneath him for just a split second before it falls away. Really, his reflexes should be fast enough to react in that time, but he takes that second to wrap his hands around Quark in a protective ball. Then he’s falling momentarily, then he’s landing on somebody’s coffee table. An entire section of vent falls with him, leaving him in a roughly ten-inch round, eight-feet long metal tube in a pile of broken ceiling and table. After an awkward beat, he slithers out partially and comes face-to-face with a familiar black cat, the first clue as to whose apartment he’s crashed into.

Salem sniffs at him before delivering his opinion on the entire, disgraceful matter. “Meow.” This is perhaps the most judgmental noise Reed has ever heard from a cat.

"I’m sorry," he says, equal parts mortified and sincere.

Posted 1 week ago
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guys I actually shed a tear



Captain America: The Winter Soldier review by 

Posted 1 week ago
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It’s more of a nudge, really|| Nick and Reed 


Hello Pot, lovely to meet you.

It was completely expected, predictable even.  Nick can see the little furrow between Reed’s brows as he glances at the time, then the little sigh and nose wrinkle as he responds.  

There wasn’t anything more interesting anyway.

Would you prefer me to be left, bored, to my own devices?

Ben was with me.

Which is not, he knows, a logical or even relevant defense. And since his mission has been such a complete failure, he can’t even justify the extended time away. Nick’s last two texts, whether they were meant to or not, only pricked further at Reed’s guilt.

No. I’m sorry. When will you finish your work for today?

It’s more of a nudge, really|| Nick and Reed 


By now all of Nick’s work had  been forgotten.  It’s probably not the best sign that a single text from Reed, even one completely innocuous, has veto power over the rest of Nick’s schedule.  Nick, honestly, doesn’t much care.

At work he types, then cringes a little.  It’s late, very late, and he and Reed have had Words about Keeping Reasonable Hours.  At least this time Reed doesn’t have much of a position to stand on seeing as how his usual soapbox was currently wrapped in hypocrite paper.

You at Baxter?

Yes, I am.

Reed peers at the time on his phone, his tongue peeking out of his mouth a little in frustration and concentration. Each other’s work schedules is an argument they’ve rehashed time and time again, and he slips into disapproving mode without being fully cognizant of his own hypocrisy.

Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?


do not motherfucking disturb


do not motherfucking disturb

Posted 1 month ago
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It’s more of a nudge, really|| Nick and Reed 


Nick sits back in his chair, already grinning a little from actually getting a response.  He taps out a reply then immediately deleted it before he embarrasses himself.

Was about to respond with a ‘Hi’.

Luckily I remembered I was a grown fucking man and not a teenager.

You’ve resurfaced then?

Yes. Fully present and awake. Though not, probably, for long. His legs droop off into more or less a puddle around the legs of his chair, and he’s slumped over the kitchen table. Despite this, he still feels a strong urge to see Nick. Funny (and by funny he thinks he means unhealthy) how he can go for an extended period of time only rarely remembering and missing his Beta, but then suddenly feel like this at the first contact. Where are you? he texts.

It’s more of a nudge, really|| Nick and Reed 


It had been fucking months since Nick and Reed had any time at all to spend together and Nick was starting to get… antsy.  A quiet alert sounds on his phone when, finally, Reed is pinged in this world or reality or whateverthefuck and it takes Nick a good thirty seconds of staring at the device before decided that no, it’s not too stalkery to text immediately.

'Welcome back'

There.  That’s innocent enough.

After a three-month investigation into a new element (which possibly shared many properties with vibranium), all Reed and Ben have to show for it are 47 crates of miscellaneous dirt, half of a left shoe that Ben swears belonged to Johnny at one point, and that pervasive nausea that accompanies both too frequent and too extensive trips to the Microverse. Their irregular breaks have mostly been spent at the Baxter Building, so Reed’s contact with anyone outside of the Baxter’s residents has been regrettably brief.

When he gets the text, he guiltily realizes that he’d managed to slip into yet another obsessive phase without noticing, and this time the cost of his asociality is Nick. He replies almost immediately, Thank you. A moment later, which he spent wondering if that was too terse, he adds, Hello.

Posted 3 months ago
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